The way we see ourselves is the foundation of everything we experience in our relationships. It seems simple, but it’s powerful: if you believe you’re not worth much, you tend to accept crumbs. Crumbs of attention, crumbs of affection, crumbs of respect. You accept being ignored, being devalued, or even treated as a burden, and often you don’t even realize it.
The problem isn’t just with other people. It starts with you, with how you see yourself. And this is reflected in all types of relationships: in love, in friendships, in family, and even at work. Who hasn’t felt overwhelmed by having to please colleagues, friends, or partners, or by trying to fit into standards that aren’t their own? This feeling comes from the same root: the way you learned to see yourself.
And the truth is, you weren’t born diminished. You learned it. You learned to put yourself second, to silence yourself, to devalue yourself. Often, this comes from childhood, from traumas, from painful experiences, or from implicit messages that we internalize without realizing it. The words we hear, the attitudes we observe, and the situations we experience shape the idea we have of ourselves.
But there’s a turning point. When you realize that this view of yourself isn’t the truth, you can relearn. You can begin to look at yourself with more courage, more affection, and more awareness. Each step in this process strengthens your boundaries, helps you make better choices, and changes the type of relationships you attract and build.
When you treat yourself with love and respect, you begin to demand the same from others. When you put yourself fully into your life, instead of trying to fit into tight spaces, relationships gain more authenticity, lightness, and presence. You stop living trying to please and start living by choosing well, cultivating healthy and true bonds.
This transformation is fundamental because our relationships are a mirror of the relationship we have with ourselves. Self-love is not selfishness; it’s the foundation for any healthy relationship. It determines how far you allow others into your life, and what you are willing to accept or not.
I’m Positive Alessandra, and I teach people how to build strong, conscious, and healthy relationships—not just romantic ones, but also with friends, family, colleagues, and most importantly, with themselves. If you feel ready to transform how you see yourself and, consequently, how you relate to others, join me here and let’s learn together how to create genuine and transformative relationships.
